Herman Melville, Author of Moby-Dick
Myles McNutt, Reviewer AV Club
How to Fold a Shirt in Under 2 Seconds.
Bill Gates, Co-chair, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation
Michael Lazerow, Founder Buddy Media
Dharmesh Shah, Founder and CTO at HubSpot
Scott Belsky, Co-founder of Behance
— Donna Bowman, A.V. Club on the Journey of Ted Mosby
— Seth Godin
Entering the Arena
Last week I hit a wall.
Afraid of hearing the word “no” from a potential business partner, I preemptively shut down conversations by hiding behind the need to develop a perfect pitch. Of course, this only resulted in me sitting in front of my keyboard feeling deservedly frustrated and unaccomplished.
What I should have done is entered the metaphorical arena by couragously committing to my ideas and drafting a proposal thereby opening up the conversation, knowing full well that the only way to find the perfect pitch is by asking more question and allowing a co-created solution to emerge.
This realization hit me while listening to the TED Radio Hour Podcast on Making Mistakes, where Brene Brown explores if we can gain strength from recognizing shame and embracing vulnerability:
I know it’s seductive to stand outside the arena, because I think I did it my whole life, and think to myself, I’m going to go in there and kick some ass when I’m bulletproof and when I’m perfect. And that is seductive. But the truth is that never happens. And even if you got as perfect as you could and as bulletproof as you could possibly muster when you got in there, that’s not what we want to see. We want you to go in. We want to be with you and across from you. And we just want, for ourselves and the people we care about and the people we work with, to dare greatly.
Ultimately, the proposal that I sent today was no better than the proposal I would have sent last week. In fact, the delay probably did not help my case much. Moving forward, I guess I’ll just have to take a page out of Guetta’s book, don some titanium armor and join the fight.
I’m criticized, but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Watch the full TED talk here:
Want to seem more interesting this year? Start by being interested. Focus on making others feel intelligent, impressive and fascinating. Instead of focusing on yourself, shine the spotlight light back on them by asking better questions:
Social jiu-jitsu is easy. Just ask the right questions. Stay open-ended and allow room for description and introspection. Ask how, or why, or who.
As soon as you learn a little about someone, ask how they did it. Or why they did it. Or what they liked about it, or what they learned from it, or what you should do if you’re in a similar situation.
By asking for advice, you are demonstrating that you respect their opinion and in a way, are inviting them to be part of your future success.
Here is to a more charismatic 2013. Cheers!
- “6 Habits of Remarkably Likeable People” - Jeff Haden | Inc
It’s New Year’s Day.
Today, we wake up armed with a handful of fresh resolutions and a little resolve borrowed from the promise of a new year.
We head to the gym, take to the kitchen, curl up with a book and hunker down in front of a keyboard. We swear off the junk food, power down the TV and dream of a better, happier, healthier, more productive life. Waiting for that all important day when we walk out of the room as people whisper behind us:
Do you think she just woke up one morning and said, ‘I think I’ll go to law school today’?
That day however, is not today. Because achieving our resolutions are never quite as easy as waking up and making a grand proclamation. A better life requires life long changes. It’s about showing up to each battle, win, lose or draw, while not losing site of the overall war. Jeff Goins helps us to understand why most resolutions fail:
A resolution is something you make. Resolve is something you have. Call it semantics, but this is important. A lot of people will make resolutions this new year and immediately break them. Why? Because they’re not really resolving to do anything. They’re just wishing.
So where do we find resolve? Or better yet, how do you build resolve? Lifehacker recommends a scaffolding approach to structure your goals that involve the following steps:
Choose a concrete goal
Determine the next action
Make your resolution open ended
Seek out a support network
Be realistic and kind
At the end of the day, we all have 24 hours. Changing your life requires that you to rethink how to prioritize the time that we are all given.
- “Why You Shouldn’t Bother with Writing Resolutions this New Year” - Jeff Goins | Jeff Goins Writer
- “Scaffold Your New Year’s Resolutions for Lasting Change” - Jason Fitzpatrick | Lifehacker
2012 Score Card
Raw Score: 23/28 = 82%
with bonus points 43/28 = 154%
Modesto, California Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Washington D.C. Indio, California (Coachella) Minneapolis, Minnesota Barcelona, Spain Rome, Italy Paris, France (Roland Garros) London, England Black Rock City, Nevada (Burning Man) Portland, Oregon Seattle, Washington
- Florence, Italy
- Venice, Italy
- Milan, Italy
- Lake Como, Italy
- Madrid, Spain
- Fountainbleau, France
- San Bernardino Mountains, California
- New York, New York
- Denver, Colorado
- Albuquerque, New Mexico (Hot Air Balloon Fiesta)
- San Francisco, California
- Honolulu, Hawaii
WHEN YOU EAT, APPRECIATE EVERY LAST BITE
Experiment with molecular gastronomy Sculpt a cake Participate in a flavor-tripping party
- Experiment with vegetarianism
- Deep fry a turkey
- Craft homemade ice creams
- Adopt a paleo-esque lifestyle (25 lb lighter from the start of the year)
- Pistachio and Rose Macaroons from Pierre Herme | Paris, France
- ALL THE PIZZA from Pizza Bonci | Rome, Italy
- The Reggie and McIsley from Pine State Biscuits | Portland, Oregon
- ALL THE CHOCOLATE from Theo’s Chocolate Tour | Seattle, Washington
- Sweet Corn Pancakes from Maria’s Cafe | Minneapolis, Minnesota
OPEN YOUR MIND, ARMS, AND HEART TO NEW THINGS
- *Design, make and
sell something *Travel by trainacross the US to either Chicago, Seattle or both Attend a major festival (like Burning Man) *Play tennis onreal clay courts
- Take a class in free running at Tempest Academy
- *Sold my first ad campaign
- *Traveled by train across Italy and from Paris to London
- *Played tennis on American clay courts, real European clay is up next
- Rode in a hot air ballon
- Wake boarding with Captain Morgan
- Hiked Diamond Head, Koko Head. Hawaii Loa Ridge, Griffith Park and the Boulder Basin
- Completed a round of Insanity
- Tried Crossfit
LIFE IS ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU MEET, AND THE THINGS YOU CREATE WITH THEM
Simon Mainwaring - We First Dave, Michael and Fabian - Holstee Colin Wright - Exile Lifestyle Chris Guillebeau - Art of Non-Conformity
- Anyone - Virgin Unite Team
GETTING LOST WILL HELP YOU FIND YOURSELF
- Travel Hacking
- Blogging/Building a Personal Online Brand
Any suggestions for 2013?
Leslie Knope. ”The Debate" - Parks and Recreation | Season 4, Episode 20
Battle cry. Let’s go.
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